Charlie and the Giant Spiders
by Rita Arabella Black
Summary: Charlie Weasley and his friends are forced to act as tour guides to a bunch of wizard tourists at the only North American Dragon Preserve. Who thought it was a good idea to let a bunch of tourists loose in a dragon preserve?
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: In my little world Charlie Weasley lives in America, plays professional Quidditch, works during the off season at North America's only dragon preserve, and helps his friends fight dark magic. He is also co-author of **_**Dragons in America **_**with his friend Michael G. Hendershot.**

_Based on characters created by J. K. Rowling_

**Charlie and the Giant Spiders**

Chapter One

Charlie Weasley knew it was going to be a bad day when he woke up at four in the morning with crick in his neck and a headache. He got up very quietly so he wouldn't disturb his roommate, Jack Preston and went into the common room to read and answer his mail. He had the next two days off from guard duty of the northern and eastern rims of the dragon preserve. He had planned to go to Austin and party with his friends Travis and the two Tex's.

There was a notice on the bulletin board that there was going to be a meeting at 10 that morning and it was mandatory. _Fuck me_, thought Charlie as he read the note. He wouldn't be able to leave the compound before noon. _Well, shit._

Rhonda, the mail goddess, forwarded Charlie's fan mail he'd received from the Quidditch team. The season had been over for a couple of months, but Charlie was still getting letters from fans. The amount of "You suck" mail had drastically decreased since his team, the Flying American Red Dragons, captured the World Quidditch Cup that year.

He received a nice note from Rhonda thanking him for standing up for her when the head office wanted to fire her. One of her assistants had hexed a friend of Charlie's and was fired. Guy Bingly, one of the Reds' owners wanted to fire Rhonda as well, but Charlie came to her defense and said Rhonda was one of the greatest assets to the team and he'd quit if they fired her. Charlie was serious, so Guy ended up not only not firing Rhonda, but giving her a promotion and a raise.

Charlie got a letter from his friend Heather, a student at Salem School for Young Witches and Wizards. She was excited about graduating this year and invited him to graduation. He wrote back to her and said he was looking forward to it and would make sure that he made it.

The rest of the letters were from fans. He answered each letter personally. All photograph requests were handled by the information office.

Charlie hung around the bunk house until it was time for the meeting. Everyone else seemed to be clueless about the purpose of the meeting. At ten o'clock sharp the director of the preserve, Daniel Schleif, stood before the group. He had a big smile on his face. _That was never a good sign,_ thought Charlie, as he watched the director. There was a woman standing slightly behind him. She looked too old to be an intern; which was the only other time the director called the wranglers to a meeting.

"Good morning," he began pleasantly. "I have wonderful news. The Preserve has received notification that we is now a national park. The Department of Magic has made a rather large endowment for the purpose of establishing an educational program for wizards and witches that would open the preserve for tours."

As the director droned on about the exciting new enterprise, Charlie was thinking about the trip to Austin. He was looking forward to seeing his friend Travis. Travis knew some crazy places to party, and Charlie had been too good for too long and it was only a matter of time before he screwed up a perfectly good relationship. He had been dating the same woman exclusively for almost three months and he hadn't cheated on her yet. He wasn't planning on cheating on Minerva, but his track record wasn't very good and he needed very badly to get laid.

If the director said when the tours would be starting, Charlie wasn't paying attention, but he heard soft groans and realized that Daniel had said something that he needed to hear. He looked at Jack, who had a dour look on his face.

Jack leaned over and whispered, "It starts this weekend. The wranglers are supposed to take the first group out on a weekender. Guess who?" He shook his head in disgust. "We just got screwed out of our two days off."

"Shit," Charlie said. "You're kidding right?" Jack shook his head. "Damn."

"Mr. Schleif wants to see us after the meeting," Pete said, shaking his head.

Schleif continued on for a few more minutes, this time Charlie paid attention. Schleif introduced the witch that was standing on the dais with him. She was Griselda Sills, and she was a representative from the Department of Magic's Tourism Bureau. Apparently Griselda had already been working on ideas to turn the Preserve into a major tourist attraction for several months. The pamphlets were distributed and the agenda had been set up. She stressed that not only the dragons would be featured in the overnight tours; the other magical creatures within the grounds would be a part of total package.

Both Sills and Schleif looked so pleased with themselves. They had no idea what a pain in the ass the whole tour concept was to the wizards who did all the real work. If they hired a staff just for the purpose of conducting the tours, that was one thing, but for the wranglers to try to do their job while at the same time try to become tour guides was another.

Charlie stood up while Griselda was in the middle of her presentation. Ms Sills, recognized Charlie, stopped talking.

"Yes, Mr. Weasley?" she asked expectantly.

"Daniel, why are you screwing me out of my two days off? He sounded really pissed.

Schleif looked at him dumbfounded. "Charlie, I thought you of all people would embrace our new idea."

"I never said it was a bad idea, I'm just curious why I can't have my two days off. I hate to sound like I'm ungrateful, but I need the time off." What Charlie didn't say was that he _really _needed to get laid.

All the work that Charlie did at the preserve was volunteer anyway. He refused a salary and the only provision given to Charlie was free room and board. Normally he would have worked extra scheduled and forfeited his days off, but he was really looking forward to seeing his old friends.

"We'll make it up to you, Charlie, I promise," Schleif said, looking rather concerned. "I didn't know you had made plans. It's just that we're expecting our first group and you've had tour guide experience. I'm sorry, I should have consulted you."

Charlie was not in the mood to offer absolution. He merely nodded. "Yes, I guess you should have."

Schleif looked rather flushed, but let the subject drop.

"There are two types of tours: escorted and unescorted," Griselda continued. "The escorted tours are either overnight, weekend or one day tours. The unescorted tours are one day tours."

Jack raised his hand. "Yes, Mr. Preston?" Griselda asked patiently.

"Do we really think unescorted tours on a dragon preserve are a good idea?" he asked sincerely. Charlie, Pete, and Mike nodded simultaneously.

She looked flummoxed. She looked at Daniel and back at Jack. All of a sudden it must have dawned on her that not everyone was on board for her plan. Didn't she consider that, aside from the killing curse and alcohol-related jinxes, dragons were the number three and four causes of wizards' accidental deaths worldwide?

"Ma'am, " said Pete politely. "You must be a city girl."

The dragon wranglers in the room chuckled. Ms Sills's face turned bright red. Schleif came forward in her defense. "Let's all be open minded gentlemen," he said defensively.

Charlie believed that Daniel had gotten caught up in the honor of his little preserve becoming a national park. He didn't stop to consider the feasibility of turning a bunch of stupid tourist loose in the desert. The Department of Magic must have waved a shit-load of gold in his face.

Charlie was already becoming slightly disgruntled with the management of the preserve. It seemed to him that his primary duty was only keeping muggles safe. There were not a lot of dragons on the preserve, so he wasn't able to spend quality time doing the one thing he loved; interacting with the magical beasts. It seemed all he did lately was rescue hapless muggles.

Schleif was relatively new and when he came on board he promised important changes. His experience was in management, not care of magical creatures. He was hired because of his marketing skills. Apparently someone wanted the preserve to be a gold-making enterprise.

What Schleif didn't understand was all the wranglers worked at the preserve because they loved dragons. They weren't interested in making their fortunes there. The wranglers certainly did not want the preserve to turn into a version of _Wizard's World Amusement Park, _the largest theme park in the wizarding world.

Two hours later, Pete, Jack, Mike, Mark, and Charlie were officially preserve tour guides, along with their other duties as wranglers, of course. They were given a training manual that laid out their duties and responsibilities. There were hand outs printed up by the Department of Magic and copies of Charlie's and Mike's books, _Dragons in America _ and _Magical Creatures of North America,_ which were to be sold during the tours. Mike and Charlie were expected to autograph the books.

Mike told Schleif and the others that he didn't give a shit as long as he wasn't put on nights. He would handle all the f-ing day tours the sorry sons of bitches could throw at him. Mike, who was married to a muggle and had two wizard children, threatened to quit if they tried to put him on nights. Jack and Pete had no life to speak of and thought it might be an interesting way to meet women. And Charlie was still pissed off that he got screwed out of two days off. He said some unkind things about management and that he expected to get laid that weekend, not fucked.

The first tour group was a weekend tour of eight 12-14 year old girls, who turned out to be the silliest girls Charlie had ever seen. He and Pete were the tour guides. There were four adult chaperones; three witches and one wizard, who was married to one of the witches. Their daughter (one of the silliest ones) was part of the tour group. The other two chaperones were attractive witches. Griselda Sills joined the tour as well. Charlie supposed that she was there to make any changes as she saw fit. Nice of her to do it _after_ the fact, he thought.

Since dragons, for the most part, are nocturnal, there wasn't a lot to see as far as dragons in actions. They were shown the lairs of a group of American Reds. Reds lived in caves along the canyon edge. The flying demon species were well hidden and rarely came out during the day. They were just as dangerous during daylight as they were after dark. The verdemalos, however, were the rare breed of dragons that were more active during daylight hours. Charlie and Pete led the group to a nest on the bottom of the desert floor. They used a disillusionment charm and a silencing spell to camouflage the campers against the verdemalos. The group was able to see how the dragons lived in their native habitat. Everyone, the adults especially were fascinated by the dragons and the girls asked goofy questions. They took pictures (mostly of Charlie).

Charlie and Pete weren't exactly sure where the campers were going to set up their tents. The campers had already been assigned an area that was relatively safe from dragons, but they weren't sure if they were safe from the other magical creatures. But they doubted if Schleif would put them in any harm, they were pretty sure that the area was critter free. The group was to eat with the staff in the chow hall during the evening meal. Breakfast and lunch would be served chuck wagon style (another cutesy western-themed name that Schleif and Sills had come up with).

Pete and Charlie kept the group busy and hiking. They had hoped to tire them out so they'd go to bed early. Charlie soon found out never underestimate the stamina of a group of pre-teen girls. The adult chaperones were getting tired and hungry before the sun had set. They herded the group over to the chow hall for the evening meal around dusk.

Schleif hovered around the group, making sure they were having good time and were getting enough to eat. Charlie and Pete sat back impassively. The other wranglers stood by and watched the group curiously.

Charlie and Pete never even hinted that they were not happy to be tour guides. They acted completely professionally. They took their responsibilities very seriously and were committed to ensuring that the people and the dragons were safe.

After dinner the group went to their camp site for the evening. The group sat around a roaring camp fire. It was the first time the group was quiet. Griselda asked some questions about the preserve and the different magical creatures that lived in the desert. She referenced Mike's and Charlie's book on magical creatures and Charlie was kind enough to read portions of the book aloud. The group was extremely receptive. Some of the questions asked had nothing to do with magical creatures or dragons. The silly girls asked about Quidditch and the women that were photographed with him in celebrity magazines. One 14 year old, who was trying to sound extremely mature, asked him about his girlfriend. The adult witches looked just as interested in knowing about Minerva but told the girl not to ask such personal questions.

Charlie smiled his most charming smile . "Thanks," he said to the women. He didn't like talking about himself, especially to strangers. He tried very hard to stay on topic, but the girls were persistent.

"My friend Bethany has the picture of you with your muggle girlfriend. Are you still seeing her?" One of the girls asked, sinking into a fit of giggles.

Charlie shook his head. "No. She dumped me."

The girls found that extremely hilarious.

One of the women, Tonya Phillips, gave the girls a strained look.

"Please don't bother Mr. Weasley," she said. "You're all becoming very tiresome."

Charlie grinned at her. She smiled shyly back at him.

What the hell, thought Charlie. There's nothing wrong with a little innocent flirting. The worst that could happen was he might get his face slapped and the best thing that could happen; he could get a nice diversion from what had turned out to the one of the worst days of his life.

The married couple, Rose and Edwin Cooper herded the eight girls to their tent at nine o'clock. Griselda asked the adults to stay up so they could analyze the tour so far. She told Charlie and Pete to go to their tent. Charlie gave her a strange look and got up slowly. Pete was pulling out a pack of cigarettes and walked away lighting his cigarette. Charlie followed him looking more disgruntled than ever.

On the ridge outside the camp, Charlie leaned against a huge boulder and watched Pete flick ashes into the night. Neither spoke for a while. They heard a noise coming from the camp area and was surprised to see two of the women, Monica and Tonya come into the open. They looked surprised to see the men standing there. Tonya smiled shyly again and Charlie nodded to her. He offered her his place leaning against the boulder.

"Nice night," Pete said, inhaling his cigarette deeply. The woman watched the smoke curl around his head. It was so peaceful and quiet in the desert. No one said anything for a long time. Charlie was watching the women carefully. Tonya looked like she wanted to say something, but couldn't get up the courage.

Finally, Charlie spoke up. "How in the world did you get saddled with eight of the silliest girls in the wizarding world?" he asked.

Tonya laughed out loud. "All girls are silly at that age," she said. "Ed and Rose talked us into it. We run a young witches' association. We're trying to get American witches more in tuned with their heritage. When this opportunity came up, we thought it would be a good experience."

"How long have you known about it? The tour, I mean." Pete asked.

Monica shrugged and looked at Tonya. "What? About a month, I guess."

Charlie and Pete exchanged looks. Charlie blew out a breath.

"Son of a bitch," Pete said.

Charlie just smiled and shook his head. "Oh well. How do you like it so far?"

"Amazing." Tonya flushed. "It helps that we're out here with two incredibly handsome men." She was flirting. Charlie got the idea that she didn't do a lot of flirting, but he thought she was cute. He decided to turn on the Weasley charm mainly because he was bored and needed a diversion.

"Wait," he said, moving in very close to her. "You have something in your hair." He picked out the imaginary stick out of her hair, giving him the opportunity to lean in and touch her. "You have very nice eyes," he said as he was touching her hair.

She blushed again. She pushed a piece of her hair behind her ear, nervously. She bit her lip. She was watching his mouth and unconsciously licked her lips. He moved in closer to her and pretended to flick something off the boulder that she was leaning against.

Pete watched his friend as he worked his charm. He'd seen Charlie in action a number times, and it never ceased to amaze him how even the haughtiest women responded to his charm. Charlie was so sincere; he loved women. Charlie was just about to go in for the kill, when he heard an annoying hacking sound. It was Griselda plodding through the dark looking for them.

"Mr. Weasley," she called out unpleasantly. She had a too sweet voice. She would describe herself as a friendly, people person, but Charlie and Pete were not impressed. Each felt they had been blindsided by the whole tour guide decision.

"Shit," he said under his breath. "What?" he asked loudly.

"You can come back to the camp now." She tried to sound friendly.

Monica and Tonya giggled. They started toward the camp, but Charlie grabbed Tonya's arm. He put his finger to his lips, then did something so typically Weasley that Pete couldn't help but laugh; he kissed Tonya squarely on the mouth, leaving her quite dazed.

"I'd like to continue our conversation later," he whispered to her.

She nodded and stumbled as she tried to make her way back to the camp. He held her arm and pointed her in the right direction. The four of them walked back into camp fire lit trail; the men behind the women.


	2. Chapter 2

_Based on characters created by J. K. Rowling_

Chapter 2

Griselda Sills looked positively impish as she stood by the fire light, looking expectantly at Charlie and Pete. The shock on her face registered that she had not expected the two women walking toward her followed by the men. Even in the soft glow of the campfire, Griselda could tell that Tonya's and Monica's faces were flushed, like they had been caught doing something naughty. Griselda raised her eye brow. Charlie saw her expression and smiled wickedly to himself. Finally, he thought, a diversion!

He escorted the women to the log that served as their seat around the fire. It had been magicked, of course to make it look like the witches and wizards were roughing it. It was actually made out of a very soft material, so their rumps wouldn't get too sore. Charlie and Pete chose to sit on the ground next to the women; they really were used to the hard life in the desert.

Rose and Edwin seemed to be blissfully happy. The desert air was apparently very good for them. They were enjoying the adventure a little too much, thought Charlie. Rose and Edwin looked like those indulgent parents that dote on their whiny children. This was the reason that wizarding traditions in America were dying out.

Charlie wondered how their reaction would be if they really had to rough it like the wranglers do. There were no frills or soft pillow logs. The real work was hard, sweaty, and the most rewarding thing he had ever done. Of course that was before the new management moved in and fucked it up for everyone.

Griselda was still talking the tour up. She compared the adventure to a western dude ranch in the muggle world. Charlie was afraid she would make him whip out a harmonica and play sad trail songs. Thankfully, she didn't think of it—this time. Griselda really believed that it was a good idea to expose children to dragons. Culturally speaking, maybe it wasn't such a bad idea, but in a much safer environment. There were just so many charms a wizard could pull out of his hat to keep them safe. The most powerful protective spell was ineffective against a fully grown nesting _flying demon_, or even a more docile American Red.

"Now's your chance to ask Charlie and Pete questions that weren't covered earlier. And of course, Charlie, Pete, if you have any questions for our guests, please ask." She smiled that annoying can't-we-all-just-get-along smile. The woman reminded Charlie of someone, but he couldn't think who. Maybe it was someone his father worked with in the Ministry of Magic because he kept thinking of his father when he looked at her.

Everyone stared into the fire. Tonya was still blushing and didn't dare look up. She had a question, all right, but it wasn't something she could say out loud.

Charlie wanted to ask them if they were all crazy, exposing young children to the dangers of the desert, but he settled on a question that he had already guessed the answer. "Do the girls attend wizard schools or are they home schooled?"

Rose looked at her husband with a surprised look on her face. "Home schooled, of course." She said defensively.

"Oh." Charlie just nodded.

More silence. Even Griselda couldn't think of anything to ask. Pete cleared his throat and everyone looked at him expectantly, but he just took a handkerchief out his rear pants pocket and blew his nose. The only sound was the crackling of the fire and the sounds of crickets. Charlie began to laugh. Pete punched him in the side, and tried to stifle a laugh and ended up snorting a laugh. Tonya was watching Charlie and he noticed, so was Monica. He was thinking of interesting ways to incorporate both the ladies into his latest fantasy when Edwin shuffled his position.

"Charlie," began Edwin, clearing his throat, "I was just wondering how you manage your duties here and your obligations with your Quidditch team."

Griselda looked like she was going to answer the question for him, but Charlie gave her a stern look and she closed her mouth. "The preserve generously gives me the time off during training and the season." He said. He didn't mind talking Quidditch now; there was clearly nothing else to talk about.

"Does the preserve feel like they're not getting their money's worth out of you?" He asked. "I mean," he corrected quickly. "You're gone about what, six months out of the year?"

Charlie thought, what a rude-ass question, but he took the high road. "It depends on how well we do during the season. But rest assured, _Ed, _I satisfy their needs in every way."

Tonya was blushing again. Charlie and Pete looked at each other and grinned.

"Charlie doesn't collect a salary," Pete said, defending his friend. "He donates his time."

Griselda looked at Charlie. "I didn't know that," she said.

Yes, bitch, Charlie thought. That's why I was so pissed off when I didn't get my two fucking days off. He said, rather loudly in his mind.

Everyone around the camp fire seemed impressed. Charlie just shrugged.

"I make a lot of gold playing Quidditch and endorsements," he said matter of fact. "What the preserve would be paying me goes into research. I'm sure I must inconvenience them somewhat when I'm gone, but I like to think I'm just an extra man while I am here."

Edwin seemed to buy what Charlie was telling them, because he got real quiet and stared into the fire.

"Our daughter's crazy about you," Rose said. "That's how we talked her into this little trip. She's never shown the least bit of interest in magical creatures or dragons, but look at her now. I think this trip's going to be good for her." She paused, looking into the fire. "I think it's going to be good for the other girls, too."

Charlie nodded. "I hope so, too. But you do realize that it's extremely dangerous. This is not a protected site. We're using protective charms, but it may not hold with adult dragons. Plus there are a lot of magical creatures out here that aren't too keen on humans."

Griselda was livid. She jumped up. "That's not true. It's perfectly safe," she sputtered. "The Department of Magic would never put its citizens in harm's way. We would never sanction any where that was dangerous." Griselda was practically twitching.

Charlie pointed at her and shouted, "Dolores Umbridge! That's who you remind me of. It was driving me crazy."

Everyone was looking at Charlie like he had gone mad. He shrugged. "Well, she does." He said defensively. "Sorry."

Calm had been restored once again and everyone was looking into the fire, trying to come up with something clever to say when there was a godawful screeching noise and the sound of winging flapping over head. Even the girls sequestered in their tent heard the noise and began screaming.

Pete looked up. "Just a verdemalo, probably looking for food for its young. We give them back to their mamas when they are too big for them to eat them; they'll take care of them then. I'm afraid they don't have much mothering instinct when the eggs are first hatched."

Everyone but Charlie and Pete were terrified. Charlie thought maybe they were having second thoughts about the trip.

"They wouldn't harm us, would they?" asked a very concerned Rose.

Griselda was shaking her head "no", but Charlie nodded. "Of course they would if they saw you as a potential food source. There's a disillusioning charm over the camp site so they can't see us from the air. Unfortunately a protective charm wouldn't work, but the disillusioning charm works fairly well. Their eyesight's real good, but their hearing isn't ."

He was speaking in a matter of fact way, but he failed to see the look of utter horror on the faces of the campers. Tonya had a terrified look in her eyes as she clung to him.

_Well, all right, _thought Charlie, as he wrapped his arms protectively around Tonya.

"Don't worry," he said, "I'll protect you."

_Maybe this whole tour guide thing isn't such a bad idea after all, _Charlie said to himself as her stroked Tonya's back protectively. She was stuck so close to him that he doubted anyone could wedge a piece of parchment between them. He just didn't need her squirming into him like that or she would get her own little surprise. He gently pushed her off him.

"Tomorrow we'll show you some of the other magical creatures in the desert. If we're real lucky, it may rain; that's when the sea pixies came out." Pete said as if he was reading the information from a text book. "Once, several thousand millennia ago, the desert was the bottom of a vast ocean, which was the home of a number of magical sea creatures. The sea pixies evolved over time when the ocean became a desert. They are about 18 inches tall, have long sleek bodies with tuffs of what looks like cotton candy on the top of their heads and when it rains, they appear and frolic like mischievous children. Unfortunately, they like to play on wet pavement on muggle highways. They were pretty safe, but they cause a bunch of accidents. Muggles see the little critters playing on the wet road and they slam on their brakes trying to avoid them. Personally, I think they just like to see the muggles slide off the road. I think they think it's funny."

"It sounds fascinating," said Monica, who was sided up to Pete now.

"Yes, ma'am," he said politely. "And they're pretty much harmless. But if it doesn't rain, you won't see them."

Monica looked disappointed.

It was past midnight before Griselda finally found her way to her tent. Rose and Edwin followed. Monica and Tonya hung around the campfire.

"You girls want to party?" Charlie asked. "I have something you should try before you die." He pulled out a bottle from the inside of his robes.

"What is that?" Tonya asked, eying the bottle cautiously.

"It's mescal, a liquor made from cactus. It's muggle made." He handed her the bottle and told her to drink up, "but not too much," he said.

She put the bottle to her lips and took a deep drink. Sputtering, she spit the liquid out of her mouth. "That's dreadful," she said. "My mouth is numb."

Charlie grinned. "Takes a while to get used to," he said. Monica took the bottle from Tonya and took a big swig.

She put on a nasty face, but managed to swallow it. "Yuck," she said. "Ooh, you're right, Tonya, I can't feel my face."

This time Pete laughed and took the bottle away from her. "This is Charlie's favorite drink. It's a wonder he has any brain cells left." Pete took a drink, wiped his mouth with the back of his hand and handed the bottle to Charlie, who turned the bottle up and drank.

Pretty soon Charlie had manipulated Tonya to the ground. They were making out passionately, and Charlie was trying to remove the rest of her clothes. They had moved away from Pete and Monica because Charlie was not interested in a foursome and Pete and Monica had their own little corner, making out.

Charlie was kissing her neck and tugging on her trousers. "Charlie," Tonya said quietly.

"Yeah, baby?" His breathing was hard. Her trousers would not get past the boots she was wearing.

"What's that?"

At first Charlie didn't understand the question, but he turned and looked where she was pointing. About fifteen feet from them, staring at them with eight of the biggest eyes Charlie had ever seen was a giant arachnid. It was the size of a small car. It was on a boulder on the edge of the camp site, watching and waiting. Charlie could see scurrying behind the very large spider.

"Oh, fuck me," Charlie said. "This isn't good." There were about a hundred spiders as big or bigger than the one that watched them so diligently. "Get dressed," he whispered softly. "Pete," he called out only slightly louder. "We've got company."

"Oh shit," came the reply. He said to Monica, "Get in your tent."

Charlie told Tonya the very same thing. "And don't get out of your tent for any reason. Pete and I will take care of them."

How he and Pete would take care of a hundred hungry and pissed off spiders Charlie wasn't sure. The campsite was apparently too close to their nest. If they didn't act quickly, they would be over run. If they used fire, which was the usual deterrent, it would attract the dragons. Charlie thought he'd rather take his chances with one dragon than a hundred spiders.

Charlie never liked spiders. It was the only magical creature that creeped him out. They were highly intelligent creatures and Charlie believed they could read minds, which made them almost impossible to kill. It also made them highly effective predators.

"Who the fuck would put a campsite near a nest of fucking spiders?" Charlie wondered aloud. "We have to keep the little fuckers away from the kids. Any suggestions that doesn't involve bringing down a swarm of verdemalos?"

"We could stun them, I reckon. We sure as hell don't want fire. What about water? That might push them back."

"Yeah, or piss them off," called Charlie, wand at the ready.

"A scapegoat diversion?" Pete suggested.

Charlie looked interested. "But what? And don't tell me you're ready to sacrifice your life, because I'm not buying that."

"Desert storm? That'll make them scurry, won't it? With a lot a loud thunder and lightning."

Charlie considered this, nodding. "Do you know the spell?" he asked. "Maybe together, we could brew up a storm."

Pete nodded. "Sure," he said. "It wouldn't need to be big, just enough to cover the area. And it wouldn't have to last very long. They might run away at the first sign of thunder."

Charlie agreed that it made the most sense and was definitely worth a try.

"Do we need another wizard?" Pete asked, slightly nervous

"A little late for that now. I doubt if the greenhorns know any spells like that. No, it's just you and me, partner." Charlie said, nervously wiping the corners of his mouth.

"See you on the other side," Peter said, half-jokingly.

They stood shoulder to shoulder, wands in the air. They took a deep breath and shouted, "I_ncendia quod unda tempestas!"_

Immediately the sky was filled with angry clouds, desert lightning lit up the sky. In the brief flash of lightning, Charlie saw the desert floor covered in the biggest ugliest spiders. It didn't just look like a hundred hairy spiders, it looked like thousands. Charlie shuttered and he and Pete repeated the spell.

Once the lightning and thunder continued, the spiders began to scurry away, moving quickly back underground. The storm, which was becoming the size of a real wrath-of-God-type storm, brought sheets of horizontal rain, and desert lightning; lightning that went across the heavens, not touching ground.

Charlie and Pete's storm was a little overplayed, but it served its purpose. The wind, rain and thunder continued for several hours. Charlie was just relieved the kids were safe. He was determined to give that Griselda bitch **and** Schleif a piece of his mind.

When the storm finally subsided, Charlie and Pete relaxed, leaning against the boulder that had been vacated by the enormous spider that had been plotting their deaths. Both were exhausted. Keeping a storm localized for such a long time was very hard work.

When the rain finally stopped, there was a stirring in the camp. The tent flaps opened and the girls, as well as the adults starting pouring out to assess the damage. Charlie was just too tired to yell at them to go back inside.

The girls were skipping out, looking around at the wind and rain damage, which considering its intensity did minor damage.

Griselda walked to the edge of the camp and stared into the blackness. A remnant of the storm, a final bolt of lightning lit up the sky. She clapped happily. "Oh! Look everyone," she said pointing into the desert. "The pixies are out!! Isn't that wonderful?"

The girls and the adults followed her pointed finger. Sure enough, hundreds of dancing pixies covered the wet desert floor. They danced and scurried around. The girls, clearly impressed, clapped appreciatively. Tonya and Monica, who were skittish at first, expecting to see more of the arachnids, soon joined in laughing and clapping. Rose and Edwin gave both Charlie and Pete a big smile and thumbs up. "Thank you, guys," Edwin said, nearly in tears. "This is wonderful. This is the best tour I've ever been on. I'm definitely recommending this to my friends!" He walked over to them and shook their hands. "Look at the girls, they are so happy."

Charlie and Pete looked at each other, rolled their eyes, and sighed. "Great," they said together.

**A/N: This story's for Teresa, who hates spiders as much as I do.**

**--Rita**


End file.
